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E-book - "ENOUGH IS NEVER ENOUGH - How spiritual abuse sabotages the heart" - by Jim Robbins

Sherpa carrying load photo:
Courtesy of PaulPrescott: paulprescott.com/

by Larry Crabb
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by Dwight Edwards
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by Andrew Farley
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by Stone & Smith

What books do you recommend that take the Christian's good heart seriously? [Post a comment below.]

Related posts:

"How to Shame a Christian"  - video

"As the heart goes, so goes a life."

The files and artwork have been sent off to the CD duplicator.  The audio book CD sets should be shipping to me at the end of the week, and I'll make them available on the blog next week.  [CD sets and MP3 download.]

Gary is the author of the upcoming book, It's Your Call -- What are You Doing Here?  to be released in October.

Gary's website:  www.thenobleheart.com

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Download the podcast for iTunes here.

More podcasts here.

Non-commercial www.paulprescott.com

The particular kind of abuse I'm talking about is reflected in the following description of abuse.  It comes from The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse, by Johnson and VanVonderan:

"Spiritual abuse is the mistreatment of a person who is in need of help, support or greater spiritual empowerment, with the result of weakening, undermining or decreasing that person’s spiritual empowerment."

The authors go further:

"Spiritual abuse can also occur when spirituality is used to make others live up to a ‘spiritual standard.’  This promotes external ‘spiritual performance,’ …or is used as a means of ‘proving’ a person’s spirituality."

This abuse may not even be intentional, but kills the heart, nonetheless.

Notice the effects of this kind of abuse:

• weakening, undermining or decreasing that person’s spiritual empowerment.
• enforcing a 'spiritual standard,' 'spiritual performance,' a means of 'proving a person's spirituality'
  

The e-book is nearly completed, and I'll be announcing its completion soon.

As always, feel free to click the "Post a Comment" button below.

From the book:

I have always believed that conflicts between Christians can be worked through when both parties submit their will to God.  Intentional, malicious action against me by a church leader blew me away.  The unwillingness of others involved to challenge the leader's actions, but instead look the other way in denial, preserving their positions, shattered my trust in church leadership.  [Quoted in Spiritual Abuse Recovery. Taken from the website, Kingdom Grace, 'Shattered Illusions.']

Spiritual abuse is likely to be minimized by those in Christian leadership.  However, it is affecting more Christians and churches than people want to admit.  Spiritual abuse is causing many very committed followers of Christ to leave abusing churches to seek out other options for Christian community.  Barb Orlowski provides a research-based, serious and needed look into the abusive dynamic occurring in many churches. 

What is "spiritual abuse?"  One definition the author uses is:  "Spiritual abuse takes place when leaders to whom people look for guidance and spiritual nurture use their positions of authority to manipulate, control and dominate."  Spiritual abuse often occurs when there is a distorted and unbiblical view of leadership authority. 

Barb Orlowski outlines distortions and belief systems that contribute to spiritual abuse:

1.  Legalism:  "When Christians struggle with feelings of shame, of never measuring up, and of feeling like they have to constantly try to earn God's approval, they often do not grasp why their Christian life is so spiritually draining." 

2.  A Faulty Hermeneutic [a faulty way of interpreting Scripture]:  "...makes a person vulnerable to erroneous teachings and the malpractices of controlling leaders."

3. Fully Understanding Healthy Church Leadership:  "Developing a biblically-sound understanding of Christian leadership based on Christ's teaching and the New Testament example will create a renewed appreciation  for godly leadership expressed in healthy communities."

4.  Personal Spiritual and Emotional Injury:  "A person's spiritual life has been severly marred by personal injury inflicted by church leadership."  Those injured can experience healing and restoration despite the trauma.

Spiritual Abuse Recovery includes the research results of the author's study on the topic.  A representative population of actual persons who suffered spiritual abuse were interviewed.  Some of the participants' comments read like these:

There was a tremendous dichotomy between what was said by leadership, and the message they actually conveyed.  They often spoke of the freedom we have as believers, as well as our individual value in God's eyes.  But any attempt to think or act with any degree of freedom was quickly and firmly labeled as unsubmissive to leadership.  An overarching theme in most of the subtle messages was that only a few were actually spiritual enough to hear and follow God for themselves, and that everyone else must follow them.

He [the pastor]  had left such a trail of hurting and damaged people, and I felt that I could no longer be a part of that type of destruction.

A toxic view of spiritual authority:  Orlowski outlines the flaws of bad, unbiblical leadership and delves into the restorative and biblical model of leadership hinted at in the Old Covenant and revealed in Jesus and the New Covenant.  This is particularly helpful for those who haven't given the issue much thought.  Assumptions can kill, and this book challenges faulty leadership assumptions.

Commenting on her own experience with leadership that wounds, the author says, "Those who had raised concerns were seen as agitators..."  Those who have also experienced wounding leadership will agree with her sentiments.

As Barbara Orlowski suggests, even the concept of spiritual abuse can be minimized by those who have never experienced it, or not even on the radar of many Christian leaders.  The issue of spiritual abuse needs to be exposed and addressed; and her book capably exposes this critical issue, giving the research results of her study into spiritual abuse.

Those who would most benefit from this book: 
.Pastors, church leaders, counselors, and seminary students - who want to know the research behind spiritual abuse and how it affects those who are marred by it.  The book also would serve to provide them with a deeper look into biblical authority.

.  Anyone interested in a more research-based look at spiritual abuse, that backs up claims of abuse with real data into the victims' of spiritual abuse traumatic experiences.

Author's website:  Church Exiters

Amazon link:  Spiritual Abuse Recovery - Dynamic Research on Finding a Place of Wholeness

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Reviewed by Jim Robbins, author of Recover Your Good Heart - Living Free From Religious Guilt and the Shame of Not Good-Enough

The audiobooks will probably come in a 5-CD set. I've talked with the company that will be producing my audiobook packages, and they say it will cost me around $400 to duplicate the CD's and package them. Each set is costing me $15 to produce, as I'll be doing a smaller run to test the waters. 

This is a big chunk of change for my family.  The ministry of The Good and Noble Heart is just me -- no sponsors or publishing houses backing me. I've independently published my work.  (Which, I'm discovering, can have its advantages -- but that's another conversation) 

So, if you'd like to help me with some portion of the $400 it will take to produce the audiobooks, I'd be grateful.   I'm not an official non-profit, and therefore don't have a tax ID number -- but your gift would go right to the production of the audiobooks, and get the message of the good and noble heart out there.

You can email here, if you'd like to help.

Thanks!

1. Life becomes about managing risk, more than audacious faith.


2. You'll borrow others' stories -- through pop-culture magazines, novels and reality t.v. shows -- because yours feels uneventful and boring.


3. You won't think of entering into the stories of friends and family -- getting to know their hearts, their wounds and desires -- because you're not even aware of how your own story has developed.


4. The nature of your prayers hasn't changed for years, perhaps:  stalled and sputtering, rather than asking the Father the sorts of things Jesus did.


5. You'll feel that the stories of the Bible are distant and disconnected from your own experience -- that your own story bears little resemblance to the distinctly supernatural interplay those of ages past enjoyed with God.


6. You'll feel disengaged from your own heart's desires -- perhaps even dismissing the life you most deeply want.  Or, your desires may be so deeply buried or denied that you're not even aware of them.


7. Perhaps the story you've adopted is too small for you.  Perhaps it isn't God's story for you.

God's heart is strongly for you:  listen to his tailor-made invitation for your life.

Part of the problem with our contemporary culture of "experts" is that it doesn't allow for the real possibility that a man or woman can effectively operate out of both sides of their brain, or demonstrate expertise in both the arts and the intellect.   Going to our General Practitioner won't do -- we are referred to a 'specialist.'  There's simply too much to know for any one person to know it all.

As I've wrestled with my own calling, the idea that a person who is a jack-of-all-trades can only be 'master of none' has forced me into an artificial narrowness:  "If I am a writer, then people won't possibly believe that I am also an artist and musician."  (Or at least, not very good at either; because how could any one person possibly be skilled at both.)

What would Leonardo DaVinci have thought of this constricted vision of human calling?  His own brilliance covered such sweeping pursuits as painting, architecture, the anatomy of the human body, and even the design of tanks and advanced weaponary.  The man who painted the "Last Supper" also excelled in geometry and architecture. 

Yet, perhaps our culture of experts has sabotaged the Renaissance Man with narrow and constricting assumptions.

One the one hand, it is good for a person to be as clear and specific about their calling as they can be.  On the other, there may be a common thread running underneath the various pursuits of the Renaissance Man or Woman.  In my case, it was the thread of design:  whether I am composing a music score for a video, or writing another chapter of my next book, I deeply enjoy creating and revealing design  -- whether it's the design of a musical composition, or the design of the human heart and its longings.  The intellect and the artistry are not mutually-exclusive, but mutually-affirming.

So take heart, those of you who, like DaVinci have found yourself competent in both the intellect and scholarly as well as the poetic and sublime.  There is precident for what you can offer the world.

"A story is a character who wants something and overcomes conflict to get it."  - Donald Miller, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years - What I Learned While Editing My Life

God is also a character in a Story. However, even though he is its author, though he could write a less painful part for himself, he subjects himself to the story.     He's in fact, the hero, the protagonist.  If he doesn't come through, then you don't get to live.  So what does God have to overcome in order to get what he's after? 

First of all, what exactly is he after? 
He's after the total and supernatural re-making of each person -- which means he has to rescue their hearts.  Rescue the heart and you rescue the person.  Only restored persons are able to live well in a restored habitat.  God is after the thorough remaking of all living things, so that they may receive his affection and direct, unfiltered Life. 

“This world is a great sculptor’s shop.  We are the statues and there is a rumor going round the shop that some of us are some day going to come to life.”  - C.S. Lewis

This has already been done.  The Great Lion, Aslan, by the stirring of his own breath, has released those bound in stone into his own immortality.  Sodom and Gomorrah has been reversed.  This is the gift of salvation.

Second, what does God overcome to get it?
The unintended consequences of his Beloved's freedom. The unintended consequences of his Beloved's freedom.

He has to enter into conflict with his own creation's ruinous affliction and overcome it.  He ties the millstone around his own neck. He goes down with the ship.  Because he is truly free, he discards his own freedom by becoming ruined himself [God "became sin for us"], turning the human heart back towards his affection. He gave the Christian her new and noble heart, so that she could return to God with all her heart.

"A story is a character who wants something and overcomes conflict to get it."

What has been coming against your heart to shut it down?  What is at stake as we pursue the deep desires of our hearts and the calling that is written there?

This was a powerful conversation with Gary Barkalow, who brings a deep clarity to the struggles of calling.

The message of exhortation translated today says, “You’re not doing enough of this; or you’re doing too much of that:” “You’re too selfish, not committed to your marriage, not serving enough …”

Exhortation becomes an attempt to manage (or manipulate) people’s behavior by pressure and guilt, rather than urging them to release the good stored up in their heart through Christ’s work in them.  Exhortation leans toward the 'not-enough' and 'not yet' rather than relentlessly pursuing the  supernaturally-pure heart Jesus has already given us at our conversion.

[Excerpted from my book: Recover Your Good Heart -- Living Free from Religious Guilt and the Shame of Not Good-Enough.]

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” (2 Cor. 5:17)   (Here, there’s a sense of finality. Our goodness is a settled fact.)

But Scripture also show us the ever-increasing process of becoming good …

“ For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge...and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. (2 Peter 1: 4-8)

(In this verse, we have a sense of Christ’s character developing in us with growing measure, over time.)

As I learn to live from my new and supernaturally-good heart, I mature in the goodness that God has already given me. That goodness may be as yet not expressed, but nevertheless still present in me. Discipleship is the process by which I enjoy and continue to express an already-present holiness and wholeness within me.

Are we sure about that?  [Even raising the question sounds heretical, doesn't it?]  As my friend Mike cautions, "Don't poke the bear..."  But what if the answer to the question is:  It depends on who the "we" is, in that statement. 

Part of the problem with preaching today is that it often has to be addressed to a large, diverse crowd, some of whom buy into the teaching of Jesus and some who are cautiously investigating.  The speaker/preacher ends up delivering a broad, cast-a-wide-net message that isn't oriented to any particular segment of the crowd [and ends up confusing everybody], or ends up covertly addressing the "unbeliever" in an attempt to evangelize them, though he appears to be addressing everybody.  [I used to be in that very position, so I understand the complexities.]

However, to preach or teach and not be clear with the crowd exactly to whom you are speaking [especially when making a statement like the one above] can have a bewildering and injurious effect.

For example, the above claim that:  "Christianity is not about how good we are, but about how good God is"  is true, but requires a clear caveat.  If you're a Christian who hears that statement, you might assume that your heart [your true nature] remains selfish and sinful --because it's not about "how good we are," according to that statement. 

This would in fact, be untrue and unbiblical for the Christian to believe.  The idea that the human heart is desperately wicked is true -- prior to a person entering the 'in-Christ' life.  After Jesus enters the person, he or she has a supernaturally and thoroughly-pure heart [true nature].  This is the classic notion of regeneration.

You can image the confusion many Christians have felt when hearing statements that are non-specific and unclarified like this.  The affect of such an unthoughtul approach to preaching (and a misunderstanding of Jesus' rescuing of the heart] leaves many who are technically free, but functionally bound, like Lazarus:  Invited into life, but unable to live freely, under the 'easy yoke.'  They don't know they've been made radically good; and their spirits break under the weight of poor preaching.

Can you think of other apparently 'Christian' statements that really need clarifying and a deeper undertanding?

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Related post:

"How much do you know about 'grace?'

Video:  "How to Shame a Christian"

1. When:  Thursday, July 8th at 8:30 p.m. (East Coast time)
2. Registration for that event is now open.  Click here for more.