The long road of desire
Thursday, December 11, 2008 at 10:38AM 
Holding fast to your desires may be the hardest thing you've ever done.
Some of my greatest sorrows occur because I desire so deeply. But, the alternative is far worse. The alternative is to lose heart, to shut down. To give up desire in order to avoid the pain of unfulfilled longings is a darkness worse than pain.
Why do our longings often seem to go unfulfilled? You want to find that soul mate with whom you can grow old, but you're afraid you're too old already. You want to walk in your calling, but either can't find it or sense that nobody wants what you're offering. You know you're not asking for something outside God's will, or perhaps God has indeed said he would give this to you, but the delay -- the long delay -- feels like a betrayal, and you wonder if you heard Him in the first place.
So what are the questions we can ask during the long road of desire?
- Is there something you want to heal, Father?
- Is this an issue of timing - that if I rushed in, it would jeapardize what I most truly want? (Jesus often says, "The right time has not yet come." He knows his heart matters to his Father, so he yields without dismissing what's important to him.)
- What are you giving ... now? In this moment. Help me receive that.
Reader Comments (6)
Jim,
Ah....this is beautiful. The desires of our hearts...Thank you for this.
Blessings,
~Amy :)
http://amyiswalkinginthespirit.blogspot.com
Thanks, Amy! I am reading your book -- what a powerful story. I'll let you know when the review is done.
Jim,
This is great! This is how I feel right now. It's work and grad school and I'm so restless waiting for everything I feel God has promised me. Desire and passion are so hard to live with. I understand why people opt out of it and settle for less and stop dreaming. It's hard to live from the heart. It just isn't in me to live without desire and passion though.
One good thing about not really posessing what I want right now is that I am getting more rest. The dreams I have will require less time to myself. Now I have time to regroup and get to know myself again after removing myself from bad churches and stopping dating lackluster guys. As you say in your post, I am looking at what God is providing now--safety, rest, healing, learning about worth, time to myself.
This topic is something I have thought a lot about lately and I have drawn similar conclusions as you have. Your thoughts on this topic are a great confirmation. It helps me remember that where I am now is exactly where I am supposed to be----even though I ache to be somewhere else often.
Thanks,
Meredith :0)
Hey Meredith,
Glad these thoughts were affirming for you. In my experience, it often feels like we're the only ones in the world going through the long wait, but I suspect it's common to anyone who wants to go deeper. One of the Enemy's lies is: "You should be where that person is now. You should have what they have. You must arrange for that because God won't come through for you." Then he throws isolation at you as well.
Hi Jim,
Isolation...yep, I'm there. You know that I have had to make the hard decision of eliminating certain people from my life. There were toxic and really coming in between me and God and peace as well. Freeing myself from those influences was the right thing, I am certain. But, I do feel isolated. Sometimes when I'm feeling pathetic and lose focus, I feel like I'm being punished. I know of course, I am not.
Luckily, I don't want to be where others are. I look at others' lives and think how I don't want to be "stuck" the way they are. I look at them and wonder why they don't want more for themselves. Nevertheless, I am in a big hurry to have what I want, that's for sure.
I know that when people panic they way you have described or get too impatient, they make stupid decisions that can really cause big headaches. I've done that, too. God does have a way of fixing things, though. I imagine him like a super hero sweeping down from the heavens, kissing boo-boos and righting wrongs. :0)
Meredith :0)
Jim. This is very challenging. It is exactly were I am. I do want to shut down on many days because I'm simply tired of the pain of disappointment and disillusionment. It seems opportunities present themselves briefly for a longing to be fulfilled and then the opportunity evaporates and I am once again left feeling foolish and alone. Struggling to not lose heart.