Religious moralism
Monday, March 2, 2009 at 11:32AM Certain things make the hair on the back of my neck bristle.
Religious moralism is one of them.
The pastor of the church where I had previously led a men's event approached me and said, "Hey. Just wanted to let you know we received a complaint in the office..."
This was a church where I had led an on-campus men's retreat. As was my custom, I offered the guys cigars after the session was over. It helps dispel the notion that Christian guys just don't do that kind of thing, and lets the men know this isn't a religious thing we're after.
So the pastor of that church went on to say that someone found out we had smoked cigars (on church grounds) after the event. He said he, "personally didn't have a problem with that kind of thing" but that it could cause some guys to "stumble." (Now, I'm not personally aware of a 12-step group for cigar smokers.) I also told him I never make it an obligation, only an option, for those who want to stay afterwards and enjoy a cigar and some comraderie.
The pastor continued by telling me we could go off-campus or to someone's house if we wanted to enjoy cigars. Well, isn't that gracious and accomodating.
When I, with neck hairs bristling, said this religious moralism was exactly the kind of thing the world hates about the church, he said, "Well, I have to relate to various groups of people in the church..." -- meaning, "Even though my personal convictions tell me there's nothing wrong with this, I'm too timid to confront the Pharisee that made the complaint."
Ever been in a fellowship or church where this kind of religious moralism became obvious to you? Would this kind of thing happen if the biblical notion of a believer's new heart had been taught?
Reader Comments (4)
Oh geez Jim,
This brings back some memories. Yeah, I have seen a lot of this. The pastor asked me and one of the guys to head up the singles ministry...well, the guy was supposed to be a real leader, afterall I'm just a stupid woman. I hate how they twist scripture to subjugate women....anyway...we decided to have a movie night for the singles. One of the movies I suggested was "Wallace and Grommit, Curse of the Wererabbit". People objected because they said, people shouldn't even be watching a movie with the word "curse" in the title...how stupid!
Also, on another occassion, I was wearing one of my wrap dresses. Those dresses have a bit of a "v" opening at the neck, well, I go have a figure, and the dress looked great, and it was also very tasteful and reserved...NO ONE could see anything! I swear! One of the wives of the elders approached me and tried to make me safety pin the top. When I asked for a reason, she said it was too revealing. And it was NOT! She said, that I would make men stumble!!!!! Me!?!??!?! Come on! Why weren't the men there responsible for themselves? She grabbed a safety pin and tried to pull me into the bathroom. I told her to let go of me. It was horrible being in a place where by just being a woman and being fashionable was a crime of some sort.
I could go on and on Jim!
Meredith
Meredith, isn't it amazing that when a place doesn't get the heart of the Gospel, they'll major on conforming to externals, as you experienced? Very sad.
Jim,
Your post has brought up a lot of memories for me. It was a long road for me, as you know and I am sure it is the same for others.
Who I was----for them was a threat. They did the best they could to kill my independence and confidence, my power and personality, happiness. They believed killing desire was godly. Being original, being yourself was not in God's plan, they believed. I would rather die literally than capitulate that way.
Now, having been through so many things like this one, I am more myself than I ever have been and more of a threat to churches like that. It is better for me to be with God and not have the interference of situations like that. It is like I have discovered a great secret in life. One of the big ones most people do not get.
I feel free to be passionate and live life, and love and hate things and have strong ideas---revel in the excitement and pain of it all. I wouldn't trade that for anything. So glad to be free of all that!
Meredith
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