"But it feels like I really want that. How can I enjoy my good and noble heart when I still want the things that trip me up?"
What happens when you hear the message that your heart has been made good and true in Christ, yet your desires pull you in the opposite direction?
- That desire that seduces you?
- That pseudo-addiction you "can't help"?
- The anger at your kids that seems so...automatic?
Here's the problem:
We've been taught that powerful feelings and attachments must be true of us. The louder those feelings shout, the more true we think they are. We've allowed feelings to be the cornerstone of our identity, rather than God's redemptive assessment of us.
We mistakenly think that:
If I feel I want that other woman, it must be true that I want her.
If I can't let go of anger, it means my anger must be stronger than my patience.
If I can't let go of control, it means I must be a controlling person who can't let go.
It's destructive circular thinking: "Because I experience a powerful pull, I must want that. Worse, I must be the kind of person that wants that."
Here's the lie: "Yeah, the 'good and noble heart' is a nice ideal; but you're not there yet. There's no real power in it."
We've forgotten what God knows about us: That those dishonorable desires are no longer us. We have a new set of desires waiting to be released within our new hearts. More accurately, the Holy Spirit is right now in the process of releasing those new and noble desires within us.
Here's how God might answer your doubts:
"You are my son [daughter] in whom I am SO-pleased! Yes, you may have those wayward desires, but they are no longer you. You have them, but they no longer have you. Celebrate the new power, new resources, and new desires I'm now releasing in your good heart."